Leaving the gray... right where it is

Over much of the last ten years, I have spent a lot of time learning about apologetics- the part of Christian theology that seeks to provide compelling and sufficient answers for skeptics outside the faith and to those who are struggling with their faith within Christianity. I was beginning to ask questions that I had never considered before like, how could God create the world in six days, or why do we have the books we have in the bible. These and many others like them were important questions that my mind needed answers to- more than sufficient answers. I was in search for concrete bullet proof answers- not to answer others, but to answer the biggest skeptic I know- me.

And so my journey began. I found many a book that focused on providing such answers. I read as many of them as my sleep-deprived eyes would let me, and listened to as many sermons and apologetics talks that would fit on my mp3 player. And as I went along, I noticed my confidence was soaring! I had satisfied my doubts so much that i was starting to try place doubts in others and wistfully and thoroughly remove them from within others! (or so I thought)

I began writing this blog three years ago with the purpose of trying help believers become as passionate about their faith in Jesus as I was. Through my search to remove all of the doubt, all of the "gray" in my theology, I had unwittingly removed many parts of the theology that God had intended to remain. Questions like, what happens to babies and young children who die and are unable to understand and receive salvation? Or, how does God truly choose us for salvation or do we choose him? I found no bullet proof answers to these and many like them in the scriptures because the absolute answers I was looking for are not contained in a black and white way on the pages of scripture. Scripture was written to communicate to us God's plan for salvation, not to answer our every theological question.

Many of the answers I was looking for were not black and white, but gray. They were not contradictions, but either-or, both-and answers that wanted to stretch my theology so that I might see the beauty of God's sovereignty, untamed and without boarders, and still know and have full confidence that He is good, that He is faithful, and that I can trust Him with my entire life- even my theology. And if I can trust Him to continue to develop and deepen my theology, I can also trust Him enough to leave the gray, right where it is.

"The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law. (Deuteronomy 29:29 ESV)

He even uses angels

Reading Hebrews chapter 1 today in my bible reading plan. Never studied this passage much before, never realized that this was an apologetic to those who thought that Jesus was just another angel. It's pretty clear after reading this that Jesus was no angel- he was and has and always will be God.

Are they not all ministering spirits sent out to serve for the sake of those who are to inherit salvation? (Hebrews 1:14 ESV)

I never really gave much thought about angels before today. (guess today is a first for several things). Just kinda ignored the concept. And I'm glad that I haven't spent too much time on them- scripture makes it pretty clear that they are just servants and not worthy of our worship- only God is worthy of our praise. But it struck me as I read the above passage that God created the angels for a purpose, and that purpose is to minister to those who belong to Jesus.

Its not the angels that are important here, but the heart of God, that cares about us and is diligently working out his plan, preparing us for the wedding feast in heaven, and taking full responsibility and ownership of us his Bride, making sure that we finish the race He marked out for us, and that we would persevere with and by and through a spirit of hope and faith that is not our own, but given to us through the Holy Spirit, through faith.

So many things unseen. 8 billion people in the world, unique individuals with their own thoughts and perspetives on how they see the world they live in. Our souls are lulled away from seeing and perceiving the beauty and majesty and holiness of God, fully distracted by the cares, concerns, troubles, comforts, and vain and fleeting things of this world. Yet the Lord is still on His throne, careful to ensure that the Son shall lose non that the Father has given Him, and knowing that we are like sheep, easily lead astray by the lies and deception of this world, in need of our patient and loving God to comfort us, to lift up our heads, and cause us to persevere to the very end. And this great loving and holy God uses whatever means he sees fit- be it faithful men and women sent and equipped to encourage and edify His church, or angels in the realm of the unseen, going before us to accomplish the purposes directed by God, for our good, and for his praise and glory.

He is good. He accomplishes His plans. He gives us the grace that we need for today. And like the dawn of each new day, he renews his mercies toward us, so that his loving kindness would complete its purpose to draw us to repentance, and perfect us in Christ.

Change

Theoden: I will not risk open war.
Aragorn: Open war is upon you whether you would risk it or not.

I love The Lord of the Rings movies. The imagination of Tolkien to dream up these amazing worlds and characters is fascinating to me. And like with every fictional story, there are numerous issues and themes that surface, paralleling real life where we all live.
Sometimes they are by design of the author, as hints and clues are strung out for the audience to discover. Other times, they are general statements like the one above that contain massive ideas, that communicate far more than meets the eye, if we are thoughtful and willing to stop and to ponder, to simply get lost in a thought, an idea, that transcends beyond the silver screen and into the depths of our hearts, into reality. And this was the case for me regarding this exchange between King Theoden and Lord Aragorn.
A great and evil army was being assembled for the destruction of mankind. And Aragorn and his party were trying to unite rival kingdoms to fight against the forces of evil and to save the people of Rohan. But king Theoden did not perceive the army as a direct threat and was convinced that he could sit back and remain on the sidelines and not get involved. What he failed to realize, as lord Aragorn was trying to explain, was that the war was coming, and there was no way to avoid it. To sit idle and wait for the battle to come to Rohan would have been disastrous. They would have to flee to Helms Deep where they could defend themselves and have a chance at avoiding annihilation.

It's strange how the mind works, how it recalls things from the past. I haven't seen this movie in months, but for some reason this quote surfaced in my mind tonight.
I currently find myself in an interesting chapter of my life. Massive change is going on in my career and in other areas of my life. For a moment I seemed to be in control, authoring some changes that I wanted to see. But then reality showed up, wadded up my plans and lit them on fire and then urinated on the ashes. (sorry).
Things, they are a changing. And I knew that this day, this season would come, but I though it would be on my terms, when I was ready. What I came to realize was that change comes when God is ready for it, not too soon, not too late, and most definitely not on our timetable.
As I find myself in the midst of a storm of change, my mind flashes to this quote, to remind me that in spite of our efforts to mitigate and avoid change, God brings it about, whether we want it or not, whether we would risk it or not.
But change is not a bad thing. While it can be incredibly painful as it happens, it can give us incredible perspective to see what God is doing, and how He uses our struggle and adjustment to grow us and to teach us to depend on Him, and help us to see a bit more clearer our circumstances, as God sees them.
For me, I have been longing for some specific changes in my life, and have really been very miserable in the waiting, very wearysome waiting for God to make His move and solve all my problems, the way I want Him to, and when I want Him to. And while the changes are not exactly what I had in mind (understatement), there is a bit of relief, of contentment, knowing and trusting by faith that It is now time for change; that God is ready to show me what He has been doing all these years that He has been so silent and seemingly inactive.
Seeing my wife go through three pregnancies, I have observed some pretty obvious things: being pregnant near the end of the pregnancy is zero fun, and that delivery is painful and scary. While I'm pretty sure that I'll never really know what it is like to be pregnant, I feel like I can relate, at least in part. For 9 years now I have been burdened for change in certain parts of my life, and the grief and frustration and hope has grown as the years have increased. But as with a pregnancy, every season has an end. It is definite and eminent change. And when the labor pains come, there is a mixture of dread and fear over the pain that is coming, yet there is also a sense of excitement and relief, that FINALLY this is coming to an end, and it is all going to be worth it when it is over.
That's kinda how I feel about the change i'm in. A lot of dread, but a lot of hope, knowing and trusting that God is at work, and is bringing about his plan, not too soon, and not too late.
Change is upon us all, whether we would risk it or not. But we who are in Christ can embrace the change and the One who is bringing it about, for His glory, for our good, and for out joy, in the fullness of time.

Theoden: I will not risk open war.
Aragorn: Open war is upon you whether you would risk it or not.

Remembering what we need to remember the most

Sin is a wretched and deceitful thing. It draws us away from Christ by its false promises of happiness and plays on our flesh's desire to seek pleasure and gratification for ourself. sin is fun. if it were not, why would anyone do it? But we also know that sin has many consequences, first and foremost that it leads us to death. Sin focuses on the instant gratification, irregardless of the consequences. 

Sin takes something that God intended for good, and perverts, twists, and distorts it to become something that appeals to our flesh sin nature, and when accepted, we find that it is filled with the deadly poison which ultimately separates us from God.

4 But God, who is abundant in mercy, because of His great love that He had for us, 5 made us alive with the Messiah even though we were dead in trespasses. By grace you are saved! 6 He also raised us up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavens, in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the coming ages He might display the immeasurable riches of His grace in His kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift— 9 not from works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:4-9

Our enemy wants to condemn us when we fail, when we sin. He takes a truth and twists it into a lie. Yes, because of our sin, we are condemned. But because of the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross, our sin- past, present, and future- was justly dealt with on the cross, and we are now clothed in righteousness and seen as blameless in the eyes of God, if we put our trust in Him and if His Spirit lives in us!

When the Holy Spirit dwells in us, we become a new creation, made holy and blameless before a holy and righteous God. Because of Christ sacrifice and the Holy Spirit dwelling in us, we are justified before God, just-as-if we have never sinned, for all time! We experience the grief and guilt of sin so greatly because it troubles the heart of God, and Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 2:16 that we have the mind of Christ! As followers of Christ, the Spirit dwells in us and makes us conscious of sin in our lives.

However, just as Paul explains to us in Romans, God's mercy and grace does not give us a free license to sin just because we are covered in His grace. Because the Holy Spirit dwells in us, we have received a new nature, one that wants to please our Heavenly Father, and one that despises sin.

I know many of you reading this probably already know all this, and are wondering why i am writing this... Here is why: because as Christians, we can easily be led astray to believe that we are saved because of the good things we do, and falsely believe that the sin we commit will somehow undo the salvation that Christ Jesus has freely offered to us. I do not want you to be held in bondage to that false belief. "By grace you are saved!" And if it is by grace that you are saved, then your performance, or lack there of, has nothing to do with your permanent adoption in Christ. We can't undo our salvation. it is a gift of God. His grace is sufficient for me, for you, for all that put their trust in Him. When we sin, we should as Christians feel deeply troubled and be filled with remorse for our choice to sin. But at the same time, we must remind ourselves that our performance, whether good or bad, has no part in our salvation. As we mature in Christ, we will see the evidence of God working in us, producing the fruit of a fully devoted follower of Christ, as we pursue Christ (not the fruit) with everything we've got! Christians are not sinless, but the do sin less.

Receive His grace. it is sufficient. it is more than enough. we cannot out sin the sufficiency of the sacrifice of Christ, nor can we run out of grace. 

Margin serves us well because it provides us a boundary to keep us from those dangerous places that subject us to temptation, to sin. But we do not live in a bubble, and our best efforts to construct safe boundaries from sin are unable to insulate us from the sin nature of this world. Sometimes, we have to follow Joseph's example, and just RUN! Do whatever it takes. avoid those dangerous places, those temptations at all cost. when attacked, do NOT see how long you can withstand it. You will be captured by the lure of temptation, and apart from the supernatural protection and/or empowerment of the Holy Spirit, you will not be able to resist sin. 

You know what? Disappointment Sucks.

Yes, you heard me. Disappointment sucks.

It happens when goals are blocked. It happens when things don't turn out how you thought they should. It happens when people let you down. 

Iowa State's fans stormed the field after they defeated the number 2 team in the country tonight, savoring the joy, the pride, the pure pleasure of watching their team do tonight what OSU has done for the last 10 games: win. Throughout the game, it was clear. This was not OSU's night, and Iowa State was out to slay a giant. 

As I watched the game, I became increasingly depressed. The team that had everyone's praise, the one who was on track to meet LSU in the national championship, was not going to win the game, and their was nothing they could do about it. 

I've been there before, as a player. It sucks to loose. But I am no longer play football... so why did it suck for me, watching them loose? They lost the game, not me. Why do I care so much? Why does the performance of a football team boost my joy when they win, and sink me into the gutter of depression when they loose?

As much as I'd like to pretend that I haven't been caught up in all they hype, my heart ratted me out and told me the truth. My heart, which supposedly belonged wholeheartedly to God, had been caught in a worship affair with OSU's success. When OSU won big, I felt great! When they lost all hope of playing for a national title, I felt awful. Loosing sucks. But the thing that sucked more was coming to the realization that I had given my heart away after the performance of a football team. 

Disappointment sucks. It steals our joy. It wounds us. It is painful. It is... 

a blessing. 

While experiencing disappointment in and of itself sucks, it was a blessing for me tonight. Why? Because it caused me to turn from seeking pleasure from a stupid football team's win/loss record, and return to the Lord, the One who never fails, who always accomplishes His purposes, the One who knows no disappointment, the One who won't disappoint those who trust their lives with Him. As strange as it sounds, seek out disappointment, because when you are in it, it will point you back to Christ, to experience him like never before, to know Him better like never before.

OSU's loosing tonight was the best thing that could have happened to me tonight, because it caused me to turn my heart back to God, instead of chasing after the success of OSU. Through it, God gave me the ability to see how I had been caught up in the sin of idolatry, consumed with the success of the football team. It was a reminder to my very soul that I was in desperate need of a savior. It reminded how rich and wonderful it is to really spend time with God, and not cram him inside a 10 minute devotional that will let me "check the box". It caused me to reflect on these thoughts and how much I need to spend time with God.

It's been nearly two months since I've typed a single post on here. And it probably would have been longer, had OSU not lost, had I not experienced disappointment, and redirected to the One who will not disappoint our hope in Him. Winning may build class, but loosing always builds character. Disappointment realigns our perspective with reality. It reminds us that our help, our joy, our satisfaction, our peace come not from a football team's success, but from the Lord.

I get to

Have you ever noticed how much people complain? Hard not to go through a single day without listening to somebody gripe about something. I know its not just everyone else- at times I'm probably the biggest whiner of them all. Sometimes I wonder if I could make it through just one day with out complaining.  

My complaining often begins with "I have to".  I have to get up early and go to work. I have to stay home and watch the kids today. I have to clean the house. And on and on I go...
But what if I change "I HAVE to" to "I GET to"? 

Perhaps then I wouldn't see getting up early to go to work as a chore, but a privilege, thanking God that I am employed and have something to do that brings home a pay check. 

Perhaps then I would look at my children and count every minute with them a blessing, that they are healthy, that they are made in the image of God, that I get to be their daddy, and that I get to stay home with them one day a week while my wife works. 

And perhaps then I would really appreciate all that my wife does, staying home with three wonderful kids all day, knowing that when I come home to a messy house, it is not because she was goofing off and being lazy all day, but because she was pouring into our kids, teaching them, loving them, helping them learn, and just spending quality time with them because that is truly more important than a clean house. Perhaps then I would see it as a privilege to love my family by cleaning the house on the weekend, knowing that it will allow my wife and kids more quality time together instead of cleaning all day everyday.  

"I have to" is for whiners. "I get to" is for winners. it's all about perspective.  
What do you GET to do?

Just one raised hand - part 2

Last week, I posted about something that, to be honest, really bothered me. At the end of a very powerful and convicting message, which usually draws many non-believers to repentance and faith in Christ, only one person visibly responded to the call of salvation; just one raised hand. After considering many of the likely suspects, last week I concluded that the following is making a significant contribution to the problem I noticed:

While it is plausible that any number of reasons with various combinations may in fact be the root of the problem, I am convinced that the primary reason we see so few unbelievers respond to the gospel [at my church/campus] is not because of the experience, the message, or awareness, but rather due to the evangelical philosophy of the believers who attend our church each week.

Alright, so what is this "evangelical philosophy", or "evangelism philosophy?" I'm sure you won't find the term in any text book, but the idea is not a new one. It is simply a way to describe how people (Christians) think that they themselves and others contribute to non-believers becoming believers. Based on my observations of the attitudes of others and of myself, I have found that people generally have one of the following evangelism philosophies:

1. Evangelism is someone else's responsibility.
2. Evangelism is my responsibility.

Those who would say that evangelism is someone else's responsibility would most likely say that "someone else" is their church, and maybe other Christians who have the gift of evangelism. And since someone else like the church or someone with the gift of evangelism is probably more effective at sharing Christ with non-believers, then my evangelism philosophy would be to get non-believers to my church, or to those that are evangelists.

Others might look at Matthew 28:19,1 Peter 3:15-16, or 2 Corinthians 5:17-20, and many others similar passages  and conclude that evangelism is every believer's responsibility, noting that the Great Commission to go and make disciples of all the nations applies to all believers.

As I look at these two evangelism philosophies, I don't see it as an either-or choice; either I only bring people to church to hear the Gospel, or it is dependent upon me to evangelize the lost in my life. Seems like there is a third possible philosophy, a both-and view, that not only should I be prepared to give a reason for the hope that I have with gentleness and respect, being and ambassador for Christ in the ministry of reconciliation to God, but ALSO actively pointing my unbelieving friends, co-workers, family, etc. to my church or other resources where they might hear the Gospel clearly and faithfully preached.

But if I'm honest about this, I don't truly think the reason for just one raised hand at the call for salvation was due to confusion between either-or or both-and evangelical philosophies. No, tragically, that there were so few non-believers present and that there was only one raised hand was more likely due to a neither-nor evangelical philosophy; a philosophy cares neither for their responsibility to personally share Christ with the lost, nor for contributing to their salvation by bringing them to church. This view of evangelism is rooted in apathy towards the lost, and is expressed as such when we rarely if at all, invite non-believers to church or tell them about our God. While most would be offended by such accusations and who would argue that they care deeply about the lost, their actions often communicate a philosophy that is very different that what they profess to believe.

And I am no different.

Though I would adamantly attempt to defend myself of such an accusation if made against me, my actions would fail to do anything but convict me. Sure, I post a lot about God, theology, and other things with intentions that it will give people reason to pause and consider their relationship with God, to leave the gray, and be the real deal and be a true follower of Christ.  But its probably been over 2 years since I've invited a non-believing friend with me to church. And if given the opportunity to even give a hint at my faith and spiritual convictions with my non-believing friends, I often avoid speaking the name of Jesus and miss crucial opportunities to begin a conversation that might lead a non-believer one step closer to knowing Jesus as their Lord and Savior. No, given the evidence against me, it's pretty hard to for me to rebuke all the other followers of Christ who attend our church week after week without a guest with them, if I myself am unwilling to change.

Thankfully, there was one faithful follower of Christ who was willing to change, who had the conviction that the message of the cross really is the power of God  (1 Cor. 1:18), who was bold and courageous enough to ask his friend to come with him to church. And what a blessing he received, to know that his friend was the one hand raised, who at that moment received the gift of eternal life, who now knows our risen Savior.

By God's grace, I have been saved. And by God's grace, I am now aware of His call towards a real both-and evangelism philosophy, that is substantiated not by what I say, but by what I do. It is also by this same grace that I am willing to change my actions, and I pray that you do too.